Caregiver Notes: A Word About Breast Cancer

Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer about a year ago, after she was given the "all clear" from the radiologist that examined her mammogram results.  Not a thing showed on the mammogram that indicated any type of malignancy and we thought all was okay.
Until, that is, Mom's breast became more and more deformed looking. 


Thinking the deformity in Mom's breast must be a blocked milk gland, we went on being grateful for the mammogram results.  One day when I was helping Mom in the shower I asked her if her breast was giving her any pain.  When she said "No, not at all" I knew something must be terribly wrong.  From experience I knew that any type of swelling in that area normally causes some pain, at any level.  Having no pain there didn't make sense and all the bells and whistles went off in my head.  Time to go back to the doctor.


In our family doctor's office, all was quiet.  Not the norm, in our doctor's office.  Usually everyone is joyful, smiling and kidding around.  When the doctor saw Mom's breast he got very quiet and concerned.  His sense of humor that usually spills out no matter what, disappeared and I became very afraid at that point.  I knew something was terribly wrong.

Our doctor sent us to the Cancer Care Associates group in Redondo Beach (California).  The oncologist there, Dr. Chan, took one look at Mom's breast, told me to cancel all the tests our family doctor set up.  Dr. Chan said there was no reason to continue with testing, it's very obvious Mom has breast cancer. 


We really didn't have any options as far as treating Mom for cancer goes.  Mom was 83 at the time of her diagnosis, has Parkinson's Disease, congestive heart failure and a slew of other medical problems.  At her age, surgery was out of the question and the cancer was too large a mass to operate anyway.  Radiation and chemo were too aggressive for Mom to handle as well.  Either would possibly make her so sick so could loose her life.  My heart sank at this news, I really didn't think cancer would be the end of Mom's life.  I was shocked, sad, and scared. 

Dr. Chan told us about a medication he wanted to try called Arimidex.  It's a tiny white pill that Mom would take once a day.  Dr. Chan said the medication had a fifty percent chance of working for her and if it did work, the pill would get rid of about half her cancer.  It was better than nothing so of course we said "We'll take it!"  (as if someone were offering us a deal on a used car or something). 


Three weeks after the appointment with the oncologist, just 21 days after taking her first little white pill, Mom's cancer was shrinking at an incredible rate.  She was highly responsive to the cancer pill and suffered virtually no side effects from it.  She didn't even have any of the joint pain the doctor mentioned she would probably get. 


Today Mom is doing well in spite of all that ails her.  Parkinson's Disease has not gotten the better of her, blood pressure readings remain inside the norm for her age (120/70), her ankles are not swollen (which would indicate some fluid retention which would be detrimental to her heart condition) and her skin is in great condition.  The cancer is going away so fast her breast has actually shrunk - the bad cells are being destroyed faster than her aging body can make good cells to replace them.  Mom made me laugh when she asked me, "What's the doctor want?  To wait till this falls off completely?"  I laughed and explained about the bad cell vs. good cell theory I had and to let her body do its thing to heal and to give it time.




At her last check up with the oncologist, the doc said Mom's blood test proved the cancer went away and is not affecting her vital organs.  All are functioning normally!

Thank God for Arimidex.  Thank God for more time I get to have with Mom.  What could have been the end became a growing experience and a new found trust in doctors, medications, and in finding out that God really does answer my prayers. 

Fat Bottom Bag Update: Found Link For Lining Your Bag

Here's just a quick update.  I promised to post a link to a great photo tutorial on how to line your Fat Bottom Bag.  Well, I finally found the blog I've been looking for and the page the tutorial is on, thank goodness!


So You Want To Line Your Fat Bottom Bag  by Kel


It's a great tutorial, she has found the best way to line the bag and make it look neat, not all bunched up or with extra material all over the place. 


The photos Kel has in the tutorial are excellent.  Anyone will be able to line their Fat Bottom  Bag now, thanks a bunch Kel!


Here is where you can find a short lining tutorial with photos of how the handles and magnetic snaps  were attached.  It's a must to attach the handles if you're not using the circular handles called for in the pattern.  Located near the middle and end of the Chunky Fat Bottom Bag post.

Thanks again Kel, for posting a wonderfully helpful tutorial on lining my favorite crocheted bag.

Links to the Fat Bottom Bags I've made and to Amazon where the book can be found with this pattern in it.  (Book by Debbie Stoller)

The Beginning of the Fat Bottom Bags For Me

FO First Fat Bottom Bag! 

Speaking of  Fat Bottom Bags...

Obsessed With Fat Bottom Bags

Big N Chunky Fat Bottom Bag

Banana Berry Fat Bottom Bag

Monet Fat Bottom Bag Modified For Mom's Walker

The best link here of all, how to order this book! 

Stitch N Bitch Crochet, The Happy Hooker by Debbie Stoller w other designers.

Now get the book and start making your own Fat Bottom Bags!  They're easy and fun and allow you to get very creative in making each one with it's own unique personality.  
Thanks for stopping by again.  You can send me photos of your own Fat Bottom Bag or links to your page where you have photos of your bag here ... Okay never mind the stupid link thingy for email addresses is broke in my composer window.  I'll figure out the html to do it myself asap.  In the meantime you can leave links to your own Fat Bottom Bags in the comment section below. 

Monet Fat Bottom Bag Modified For Walker

NOTE: Please use the scroll bar down to view entire post. I can't get rid of the spaces between the second and third photos, sorry. I tried and tried. Stinking stubborn little things. It's going to be one of those daze.

After making so many Fat Bottom Bags and giving them away, I kept thinking "I should be making something for Mom.  She sits with me all day and sees me making all these things for other people."  I couldn't think of what she would be able to use these days and what she would really appreciate.


One day Mom says, "Aren't you going to make a purse for me???"  My heart sank.  I was so excited to show her all the bags I'd finished, each with a personality of its own, and here she was - bagless and feeling left out of my generosity. 

I made this bag for Mom's walker since she wouldn't be able to carry it and use the walker at the same time. 
It was easy enough to modify the pattern a bit but I think I could have done better, I just haven't thought of the better way to do it yet.

I used a vintage broach of my Nana's (Mom's Mom) to embellish this bag with, making it extra special for Mom.

The bag hangs on Mom's walker by two straps I added to the handle flaps.

The straps button to the handle flap and another button and a loop were added to keep the bag closed when she's not getting something out of it.

I lined the bag with pretty matching fabric I had in my stash.







And that's about it.  She seems happy with it, the only problem we discovered is that she can't see the ground where the bag hangs because Mom has a tendency to be hunched over while using her walker.  If she stood more upright as she's supposed to, she'd be able to see over the walker and the bag.  I think.  At any rate, she is feeling less neglected and seems to be happy with her new bag.  I think if I slide the bag to one side or the other she'll be able to use her walker safely with the bag attached.

I love this yarn, BTW, it's Red Heart Super Saver in Monet.  I purchased the yarn at Walmart for about $2.87.  The broach was in Nana's collection, didn't cost me a dime, as were the buttons - free - from our button stash we've had for many years.  The lining, as I said, I found in our fabric stash.  This was a fun, easy, and very inexpensive way to make Mom smile and feel loved.

Caregiver Notes: I'm Still Learning

"A wise woman is always learning. She is open to change. She is ready to hear. She pursues knowledge. Debi Pearl"



I've been Mom's caregiver - for what little she needs me for - over a period of five years since I had to move in with her to keep her safe.  It seems like so little time considering I'm fifty years old and Mom is 84 but that little bit of time could have been twenty years instead of five considering all I've learned while being so close to Mom.


Remember how when you were in your early twenties and thought you knew everything?  Thought you were the best at whatever you could do?  Thought anyone who had an idea different than yours was misinformed or just plain dumb?  Well, I've finally outgrown that age, it only took another thirty years of life and five years of being here for my mother.

1. I don't know everything and other people can do what I do better than I.  (That's the most prominent and most important thing I've learned.)
2. Mom loves me even when she is critical of me or says something snippy that hurts me deeply.  
3. The way Mom grew up, the things she went through as a child made her what she is today - her character defects are not to be taken personally.
4. I don't have to be just like Mom to be worthy of her love.
5. I don't have to be perfect nor should I expect anyone else to be perfect.
6. My favorite affirmation has become:  "I am an imperfect and worthy Child of God".
7. What other people think of me is none of my business.  I don't have to wonder about it or dwell on it.
8. It's impossible to please everyone.  So stop.  (I made my mother my number one concern and am letting everyone else take care of themselves.)
9. I am much happier when I don't try to please everyone.  When I am happier, my entire household is happier.  (such power!  ha ha)
10. No one can take advantage of me unless I let them.  I am gradually getting stronger and have gained an ability to stand up for myself a bit without coming off as a total bitch.
11. I love my kids more than I ever thought I could.  Along with that increased love coupled with their adulthood independence comes worry - worry like no other.  Fear that someone will hurt them while they're out there being adults in the big world.  It's not a fear that I had when they were children and under my wings.  This is a very scary fear.
12. I came to an understanding of my mother's tendency to be over protective of me all my life through the worry I have for my own kids today.  It's incredible how long and how firmly attached a mother's umbilical cord is whether or not a mother gave live birth to her children or, as in my mother's case, she adopted her children.  The "umbilical cord" remains the same and  very strong.
13. I have a lot of gratitude for all my parents gave me all my life - especially their love - where I pretty much took everything for granted most of my life.  I didn't realize how blessed I truly was until I met a lot of people who are very bad off in these times.  Some of these people have never experienced things like camping, exploring tide pools at the ocean, living in a home knowing that home will be there for them when they need to go back to it, and so on.   There's so much I could go on for days.
14. I love my mother just the way she is.  Due to the understanding of her past and how it molded her into the woman she is today, I gained the ability to accept her and not take personally the things she says that usually hurt me deeply.  She doesn't know any different, had no therapy or training and doesn't take mood altering medications.  She's never smoked, drank alcohol, or illicit drugs.  She has made it through the huge trials and tribulations of her life with no help whatsoever except one major thing... Prayer.  

Prayer is Mom's answer to everything.  A few years ago I asked her how she did it?  Did what? she said.
I asked her how she got through all the years with us four adopted kids after Dad died.  He was only 45 when he died of injuries sustained while firefighting.  That was in 1971 when my big brother was 13, I was 11, my sister was 8 and my little brother was only 5.  We were already a bunch of trouble for her but when we hit the teenage years of life we were more than trouble.  She helped us the best she could, got us through life thus far, endured a lot of pain and worry and suffering while trying to straighten us kids who were severely traumatized by Dad's death.  She put her personal life on hold for us.  She devoted herself to us kids even more than she did when she first adopted us.  She could have done for herself more but she chose to do everything for us kids that she thought would make our lives happy and let us know how much she loved us.

Just losing Dad sent me off into the land of mental disorders.  Dysfunctional became our family motto and Mom was the one true main stay - stability - "NORMAL" - calm, responsible, straight as an arrow icon in our lives.  We could count on her to be there for us - everyday of the year.  She never staggered off the path of being the best Mom she could be.

So, back to my question to Mom.  Her answer to how she did it was Prayer.  She said without prayer she would have "poofed" and she tossed her fingers into the air as if she did poof, and that was all she said.

Please pray for my mother.  I want God to make sure she is happy and comfortable as she so deserves to be.  It hurts me to see her degenerating but I know it could be a lot worse for her so I do know my prayers are being answered.  There aren't many people left in this world like my mother.  She's one in a million.  She's a great example of the kind of woman God would want any little girl to be.  I don't think she's done a thing wrong since I've known and loved her.  She's always been a perfect example to us kids.  (so why am I not more like her???)


Does it mean you didn't learn something if you don't practice what you've learned?

Thanks Mom and Dad for choosing me.

Free Pattern - Face Scrubbie #2; Post DC Stitch Tutorial

Here's the second pattern for face scrubbies that I am making and giving away to anyone that is willing  take them from me, ha ha....
A photo tutorial for the post stitch follows the pattern instructions.

Added 7/27/10 at 9:45 PM:
If you would like photos of your own scrubbies added to this post with your handle name, email them to me HERE, it would be fun to see everyone's different scrubbie ideas!

I take my cotton crochet yarn and size G hook everywhere I go so I can work on these whenever I find a minute or two of idle time.


Face Scrubbie #2  Free Pattern


With size 4 cotton crochet yarn (Lily's or Peaches N Creme, Lion Brand or Royale) and a size G hook,


ch 2,

Round 1:  work 6 sc inside second ch from hook, join with sl st to first sc made


Round 2:  ch 3 (counts as first dc) dc in same st as joining st, 2 dc in each sc around.
Fasten off, weave in ends.


Round 3:  join contrast color (white) with a sc into any dc from round 2.  Make Post DC stitch (tutorial follows pattern), ch 1, sc in very next dc being careful to leave no dc from round 2 un-worked.  There'll be one Post DC and one SC for each dc from round 2.

Post DC stitch:

 YO,  insert hook behind the entire post made by the very next dc,

 yo, draw hook back to front of work,

 YO, draw through 2 loops on hook,
YO, draw through the 2 rem loops on hook.
--- end of tutorial Post DC stitch ------



Make sure to work each dc with a sc, the Post DC stitch goes into each dc from row 2 as well.    Be sure to leave no dc un-worked or your stitch pattern won't be uniform.

Working a sc in the next dc:  (The dc you  are going to work the sc in looks as if it is almost behind the Post DC you just made as shown:)

And showing how the Post DC looks when it's completed:

Fun And Easy - Free Pattern - Crocheted Face Scrubbies

These are a blast to make and a great way to use up those remnants of yarn left over from dishcloth projects.  They take no time at all and will save you money on store bought one time use cotton facial pads.  They will give you something to do while watching t.v. or while sitting in your doctors waiting room, at a bus stop, or just about anywhere.  I even worked on one while sitting at red lights in my car.  Probably not such a great idea, but as long as I was careful to go when the light turned green, no one blared their car horns at me and as far as I know there's not a law against crocheting while driving -- yet.

I use these scrubbies in place of the cotton facial pads you can buy at the grocery store for three or four dollars a pack.  They are a one time use pad and get expensive when you use alcohol and witch hazel on your face using the pads.  The scrubbies I make are used for scrubbing my face and neck with alcohol, washing my face with moisturizing cleanser, and for applying witch hazel (which acts like a toner) before applying wrinkle cream.  (I'm giving away all my secrets.  heh, heh. At age fifty my face needs a lot of help - especially since menopause "graced" me with acne which I've never had before, even when a teenager! ugh!)

Once you get the hang of working in rounds you can experiment with all sorts of special stitches and ideas of your own...
Here's the pattern for the scrubbie pictured in top photo, front row center (pink twist lily's sugar N cream with solid pink royal cotton border).

(Note:  I love to use Peaches N Creme Cotton yarn, I can get it at Walmart here in California for a buck forty-seven a ball.  I also use Lily's Sugar And Cream, Royal Cotton, and Lion Brand Cotton Ease.)

Using 100 % cotton crochet yarn (size 4) and a size G hook:

Chain 2, work 6 sc inside second chain from hook.  Join with slip stitch to first sc made.

Round 2: ch 1, 2 sc in each sc around, join with sl st to first sc

Round 3:  ch 2, sc in first sc, (ch 1, sc in next sc) around:  12 sc, 12 ch 1 spaces.  Join with sl st into first ch 2 space made.

Round 4:  ch 1, draw up loop in first sc and in next ch 1 space, yo, draw through all three loops on hook, ch 1.  This is a version of the star stitch.  Work the star stitch around, ending with ch 1, sl st into first ch 1 space made in beginning.  (The stitch pattern shows up best when using a solid yarn.)  12 stars.

Round 5: (ch 2, skip 1 stitch, sc in next) repeat around, end with sc in same stitch ch 2 in beg of round.  Fasten off, weave in ends.

Attach contrast color with sc in any ch 2 space.

Round 6: sc in same ch 2 sp as joining sc,  (ch 1, fpdc (link will take you to YouTube tutorial video for Front Post Stitch) into longest post stitch of next stitch, ch 1, 2 sc in next ch 2 space, ch 1) repeat around, ending with sl st into first (joining) sc.  Fasten off, weave in ends.

That's it!  How fun was that?  There are many variations you can dream up using special stitches or just simple sc and dc.  As long as you increase each round as follows:

First round:  6 stitches

Second round:  12 stitches (sc) and 18 stitches for dc because the dc is taller and needs more stitches to keep your work from bending down.

Third round: Add one stitch for every two made.

Fourth Round: same as third

You can always add a round of trim by working (ch 1, sl st in next stitch), this makes a pretty, tiny, ruffled edge as shown here:

Variations are endless:

The photo directly above shows the same pattern with the ruffled edge I suggested at the end of the pattern.

This edging is simply ch 1, sc in next stitch all around.
It looks pretty using a contrast color or white for this edging (and for the others.)

Show me your scrubbies!  Email photos of your own scrubbie creations here and I'll post them with proper credits, of course!  

Funny Story - Crocheted Swim Suits Beware!

A friend at Ravelry sent me this message about the crochet bikini top I just finished off.  I thought it was a cute story that we ought to pay attention to if we're crocheting or wearing crocheted bikini tops and bottoms.  My friend gave me permission to post it on my blog.  

Message follows-----

crochet bikini top warnings

Sent at 6:46 PM July 23, 2010

About 10 years ago a good friend and I skipped work and went to Zuma beach. The weather was cold and windy, so we decided to go back to the San Fernando valley where it was over 105 and cool off in my pool.

When we got home, i saw that she was wearing the crochet bikini top I had made a few years earlier for her teen age daughter. I made it from beautiful black cotton yarn that I had in my stash for a while.

Let me just tell you that I am experienced crocheter and the halter and back ties were strong - at least 2 or 3 rows of single crochet.

When we jumped in the pool, the top immediately stretched. Em reached to pull it up and the left strap broke in her fingers. I started laughing.

She tried to pull the remaining two pieces to tie them together and they shredding in her hands.

By then we were both hysterical. I waded over to help her and while she held up one cup, i tried to fix the other.

Well, before a minute was up, there were a million small pieces of black cotton floating in the pool and two hysterical ( 40 and 50year old) women dying of laughter.

Today, at least 10 years from the “incident” , we were again floating like logs in my pool and laughing about that day and ssoooo thankful that the “incident” occurred in the privacy of my backyard instead of Zuma.

Since then I have made her more crochet gifts - always something to be worn OVER other clothing.

Linda

-------end of message---------

Currently I am working on a bikini top using J.P. Coats Nylon Crochet Thread.  We'll see how that goes and I'll post the results asap.

As for now, I advise wearing the cotton crochet bikini tops for sun bathing only.  (They would make an interesting tan pattern on one's boobies, right?  ha ha!

Caregiver Notes: Feelings, Nothing More Than Feelings...

I wish feelings were as simple as "Nothing More Than Feelings".  If that were the case I could go through everything without freaking out.  I have a diagnosis of Schizoaffective Disorder and I'm not sure if it has anything to do with the extremes of my feelings - the way feelings make me feel so much, so extreme, so intense that I feel those feelings physically.  Sometimes feelings can make me physically sick, usually just mentally sick where I begin my bizarre thinking.  Apparnetly it's time to get back into therapy.  I wonder what caregivers without a mental disorder do with their feelings?

Here's a list of feelings I experience during any given day while acting as my mother's caregiver:

• Morning: Getting out of bed is usually mellow, all I want to do is find my cup of coffee and my pack of Camel lights.  Once I've had coffee and two cigarettes I'm good to go.  I am generally have an optimistic outlook for the day. 
• Usually by the time I get to pouring Mom's meds for the morning batch and putting together her breakfast, voices have started in on me saying things that make me angry and feeling guilty.   The anger is towards the people whose voices I hear - the guilt is from things they say that are unfounded yet I still let them lay the guilt trip on me.  
• After giving Mom her cereal and yogurt and green tea, I retire to my room to use the computer or crochet by myself or get myself ready for the day.  Still angry and getting more angry if voices still plague me, I start talking back or sometimes yelling at "them" (the voices).  I feel even more guilty (this time it has a foundation) because I'm leaving Mom sitting in her chair in front of the television by herself.  Even though I'm in the house and am doing something to take care of myself for a change, I feel I shouldn't be letting her sit there alone.  Voices make that guilt trip so enormous I tend to explode at them, yelling obscenities at them, trying to get them to shut up.
• After I have my morning alone time (although I'm really not alone if the voices are there with me, right?) I join Mom and see how she's doing.  This usually brightens my mood, makes me feel like the me who promised to take care of her years and years ago.  That Me was able bodied, much more able minded, and highly functional.  Today I am highly functional for someone with my diagnosis but my mind is worse off for the wear.  So is my spirit. 
• When I sit with Mom (which is just about all we can do) I look at her and wish I didn't have to be taking care of her.  Not that I don't want to, mind you, but because she's in the era of her life when she needs taking care of.  I long for the mother I had less than ten years ago who took care of me when I needed taking care of, who took care of my children when they were young and I wasn't able to be a Mom to them, and who could listen to me, and hear me without yelling at her.  It's very difficult seeing her body weaken and her mind sometimes go places I don't understand except that I know from my nurse's training that dementia ought to be expected at this age due to lack of oxygen to the brain.  She is very lucid almost all of the time.  There are brief, infrequent moments when Mom is obviously confused and not reality oriented.  These moments pass quickly (thank the good Lord) and Mom is back - as close to being "back" as she can be for a woman of 84 with all her medical issues.  Looking at Mom and thinking about all of these things makes feelings of dread of the inevitable future, sadness for her loss of enjoyment for living, and fear of what is to become of me and my kids once she is gone.  When she goes to Heaven, I loose the one and only true friend I've had all my life and I also loose my home which belongs to my mother and will be sold after her death according to my siblings.  That puts me on the street, basically.  This home has been in our family for fifty years and I've lived here most of my fifty years.  I love this house almost as much as I love my mother.  It has so many memories attached to it, I can't imagine not having this house to come to when all is not well in my life.  I really am scared about what I'm going to do and more than that I'm scared of what my life without my mother to lean on will be like.  It's simply a living nightmare in my mind that I feel so strongly in my heart and soul that I get physically sick.  It's not fear of the unknown, it's grief for loss that hasn't happened yet.
• Toward the end of the day I am blessed to find my heart full of gratitude that Mom is still here and I am able to do what little needs to be done for her.  When not blessed with a grateful heart it is because I am frustrated by voices that tell me she doesn't want me taking care of her.  Even though I know "they" are lying I still fall into the snare where they occupy my mind so heavily they succeed in destroying any confidence I had in anything I do, mostly what I do for Mom.  I feel inadequate, angry at them, guilty, sorry for my mother, and unwanted by anyone.  I let them do this to me even though I know they aren't real and what they say is usually a lie.
• At bedtime I'm emotionally and mentally  exhausted from dealing with voices and trying to keep myself from acting out in front of my mother.  Usually I am crying with the covers over my head and trying to get them to be quiet so I can go to sleep.  Putting on a front for others - anyone with whom I come in contact - so no one will know what is going on inside me, is draining.  Pretending all day to be happy and not showing my family and others how much I want God to take me Home, is a real trick.  I've learned to pretend like this throughout my lifetime, since my Dad died.  I was eleven when he died and I found out people just want to hear "Fine thank you" when they say "Hi How are you?" at a very young age.  No one really wants to know how you are, I tell myself.  They don't know how to deal with it or what to say if you told them the truth.  
• Sometimes at bedtime I can't go to bed, I'm not in the least bit tired because I had a great day - very few voices that were very quiet and not bothersome.  I am so excited to have relief from them I want to keep it that way and am afraid if I go to sleep it'll end the silence somehow and the voices will be there in the morning again....  And they usually are and so my day goes along as always with all the mixed up, confusing and frustrating feelings as well as the pain in my back I've had since I was diagnosed with degenerative arthritis at the age of 22.  That in itself is very depressing, to be in pain all the time like I am.  As bad as the pain can get, and as much as it keeps me from doing things I used to love to do, I'd much rather have the pain in my spine than the voices in my head.  At least the pain is something people can understand, relate to, empathize with, and not be judgmental of.  People don't question pain because they know it's real.  People can't get a grasp on something like voices that they can't see, feel, or touch.  Matters of the mind are a more delicate subject that people don't understand so they avoid it at all cost.  Back pain can be relieved with pain medication.  Muscles and bones can be treated, exercised, and repaired.  Everyone has bones and muscles.  Not everyone has a chemical imbalance in their brain.  Not everyone has the capacity to understand mental disorders - most people don't want to. 

Okay.  I got off on a tangent but it all had to be said I guess.  

The last bulleted paragraph should probably have been an entire separate post and I could go on and on about that subject but, like I said, that's for another post. 

So what to do with all those feelings and more?  You tell me.  I really don't know and it's making me nuts.

Caregiver Notes: What A Difference A Day Makes

It's got to be the most beautiful day ever here.  The sun is shining, we have a slight breeze to keep things cool, and the air is clear, not a cloud in the sky.  I don't remember ever having a more perfect day here in southern California.  I've got absolutely nothing to complain about, believe it or not.  ha. 

I don't know if it's the weather or maybe a full moon?  (my calender doesn't have those little moonie thingys on it to tell me about full or half or new moons).  Whatever "it" is, "it's" got everyone at the house, getting along with each other, being so nice it almost scares me. 


What a difference from yesterday.  What happened yesterday is what usually happens every day but what a difference a day makes.  A new beautiful day and new beautiful attitudes, moods, and even the pets are getting along nicely.


I just came across this photo of my mother and I from last Christmas when my sister did her best to take professional looking family photos with Mom.  I'm sure she and everyone else knew how big my butt looked, leaning into the photo area towards Mom, in those "make-my-butt-look-huge" white pants I was wearing.  But.. it's not the butt that makes the photo, no matter how big it looks.  It's how happy Mom and I are in the photo.  It's one I'll cherish forever.  Maybe that's why I'm almost euphoric today.  Finding this photo, the weather, the family all being home at the same time, together, spending time with each other...  It's all good.  Thanks Mom for loving me.  Thanks for adopting me and giving me into a loving family who never gives up on each other even if we have our major differences at times.  Thanks for being here still even though I know you're tired and probably want to go "Home".  Thank you for being my Mom.

Crocheted Boobie Trap (t)

I made a second attempt to crochet a bikini top at the request of several girls I know.  They like their Fat Bottom Bags but this is California and I live near the ocean where a lot of us like to bathe in the sun almost daily.  Well, not me, I am still white as winter.  ugh.

I am much happier with this top, dubbed the Boobie Trap by one of the girls I know.  That name is copyrighted for my design and I am in the process of finding out if I can trademark it.  At any rate, the top here fits me, size small / medium , about cup size B, or C.  It can be easily adjusted in the making for a smaller or larger cup size.

I haven't decided whether I want to sell the tops as Boobie Traps by Cynthia or to sell the pattern for them. What do you think?

Banana Berry Fat Bottom Bag

My Banana Berry Fat Bottom Bag, My Favorite One

This is my favorite of the Fat Bottom Bags I've made so far.  (Clicking on the link previous takes you to the Amazon site and the page where this book can be previewed and ordered, if you want it and you know you do.)
  This one didn't take me too long, I had lots of practice as you can see from several older posts.  I almost regret giving it away but I did buy two skeins of this yarn (Red Heart Super Saver in Banana Berry)  and there's enough material left over to line another bag, yea.

For the handles, as I mentioned in the post Chunky Fat Bottom Bag, I used hot glue to anchor the handles in place so they wouldn't slide around.  If using circular handles that the pattern calls for, this step is not necessary.

For lining this bag I used the same procedure as I outlined  HERE

Big And Chunky Fat Bottom Bag

 I made this bag for my friend with this chunky yarn - Lion Brand Wool Ease Thick And Quick - not called for by the pattern for the Fat Bottom Bag which you get in the book "Stitch and Bitch Crochet, The Happy Hooker".  (It's a fabulous book with detailed, funny instructions on each stitch, gauges, yarn weights, and has many wonderful, diverse patterns in the book that would make any "Hooker" Happy. )


Back to making the bag with chunky yarn.  To use the heavier weight yarn I omitted some of the middle rows  the body of the bag because the result would have been too chunky to gather and look nice. Also I had to dec the amount of gathering stitches and add one extra row of gathering stitches in order for the handle flaps to fit the small handles I bought and for the dec in rows of the first piece.

Before adding the handle flaps I lined the bag with 1/4 yard of matching fabric, cutting the fabric to fit the bag while easing it inside the bag and adding a few pleats where  necessary.  The lining is sewn in with heavy duty thread using a blind hem stitch.




Next I added the magnetic snap closures.

I hot glued the handle flaps in place to the handles themselves in order to keep the oblong handles from sliding around and getting sideways while the bag is carried.  I discovered why the pattern calls for round handles. heh, heh.  Being the weirdo that I am, not liking to be told what to do I thought I would get creative and use these different handles to go with each bag's personality.  Well, I should have stuck to the round handles but using the hot glue to anchor them in place, I am glad I didn't conform only to what the pattern called for.  That's the rebel in me I guess.

After sewing the flaps and adding the embellishment I am done but for a cell phone pocket that I'll make out of the lining fabric.  I tried to crochet one but the thick and chunky yarn wasn't suitable for making such a pocket.


And that's it.  Now, if you don't already have the book, go to Amazon and order it!  It's the best!

UPDATE!!  I finally found the link to a blog that has a photo tutorial for lining your fat bottom bag...  Here it is, it adds to this one, and this one adds to hers, so definitely check out this link if you wanna line your bag.  It will save you a lot of time, believe me! 
Go HERE

A Fallen Firefighter Dad Remembered

Dad was a fireman, coming and going.  He had courage, a sense of humor like no other than a fireman, and the need to take risks above and beyond the call of duty.  He was a great man; husband, father, Christian, son, brother, friend, neighbor, worker, and of course, fireman.  Firefighting was what Dad loved best - besides his family, that is.  I think working on cars and the trucks and tractors at Fire Station 109 was his other love. 

Dad loved to work, this is true, and worked a lot he did.  He also spent an incredible amount of time with us kids - four adopted little ones ranging from ages five through thirteen.  He used to rearrange his schedule at the station so he could take us camping (another love of Dad that I couldn't help but fall in love with as well).  We camped where there was room and safety for us kids to hike, fish, play with the camp fire when Mom wasn't watching, swim, ride our German fold up bicycles, and generally just be kids and have an awesome time doing it.    

I only recently noticed that in most of the photos we have with Dad (there aren't many, he was the one on the other side of the camera all the time) I am standing, sitting, clinging to Dad, seemingly being the one to be closest to him as possible.  It is heart breaking when I look at that happy little girl with her Dad and feeling the void that was never filled since he went to Heaven. 


Dad passed away on March 28, 1971 from injuries sustained while on the job.  It was right after the Sylmar quake and I've read the commander's report about what really happened but I can't seem to retain memory about it.  Re-reading it is too difficult for me even though it's been almost forty years since Dad died.  I was eleven when I lost him and people tell me I haven't recovered from losing my Dad yet.  I doubt I ever will.  He was - still is my Hero, right next to God.


You can see a slideshow of Dad  here - I work on it as I can but it's very difficult. 


Love you firefighters, may you be safe in all that you do for us.  God bless you all.