What do you get an eighty-four year old woman who has absolutely everything (and then some) for her birthday?
You make stuff, that's what. Anything homemade is the best bet and makes Mom the happiest. You get the most kudos, the most tears, the most bragging rights cuz you brought tears to Mom's eyes. With a homemade gift for this Mom anyway, you can't go wrong.
So what did I make Mom for her birthday? A lousy dried out, frosted-but-not-decorated chocolate cake. You'd think that just because it was chocolate it would have been a hit with Mom. Not this cake. I screwed up and baked it too long in our new oven.
This cake (from a mix that probably had an expired date on it, now that I think about it) was the worst. It was dry and found a way to stick to the roof of our mouths like peanut butter. I know it doesn't make sense but what do you expect from the Cake From Hell?
The frosting was good but there was not enough frosting on the face of the earth that could have made this cake palatable. To put it plainly, it stunk. It stunk real bad. Mom didn't try to finish her piece of chocolate concrete (I couldn't blame her, could you?) She didn't even say something polite and forgiving. She just said,
"Isn't there any ICE CREAM we can have for my birthday?"
ACK! That question still rings in my head, making me dizzy because there's another screw up by yours truly...
Of course, the one job I had been assigned to for Mom's birthday I screwed up, double. First the cake and now this.
When I went to the store last night, I got everything BUT ice cream. I did think about it when I first got to the store and decided to get it "last" so it wouldn't melt while did the rest of the shopping (gotta give me some credit for thinking like that, right?)
By the time I was finished browsing and grabbing all the buy-one-get-one free items, my cart was almost overflowing and ice cream was not on my mind. All I could think was "I did great! Look at all the great deals I got! Ohhh! I wonder how much I saved!" ugh. I saved $43.79, according to the checker.
Yea, saved forty bucks and ruined my Mom's birthday party, all in one shopping trip.
No edible cake, and no ice cream either. Will Mom ever forgive me? Probably not. Not, at least until I give her the box of See's candy I just picked up in the next town. Heh, heh! She'll forget about everything when she sinks her teeth into a dark chocolate raspberry truffle and it begins to melt on her tongue and the flavor that is beat by none swirls around in her mouth, making her go "MMMMMMMM!"
She'll get that glazed look in her eyes that tells me she's in chocolate-Heaven, and smile till the morsel in her mouth tries to sneak out one corner while she smiles. She'll slurp up that bit of chocolate escaping and jam another in her mouth, watching to make sure no one else sticks their "grubby paws" in her See's.
Thank God for See's candy. This isn't the first trouble it's gotten me out of and I'm sure it won't be the last!
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