We are going through a strange transition in that I have always been so dependent upon my mother and now she is becoming more and more dependent on me. It's confusing, frustrating, and scary. I handled my kids being dependent upon me while they were growing up, that came natural to me and to most parents. The phenomenon of Mom needing me at all is very strange. I still need her, and now I am the one who has to be the Giant. Those are some big shoes to fill and I have great fear that I won't be able to do it.
I pray and ask God simply to "help me keep my promises" and hope I can. The last thing I want to do is let down this woman in her last years of life after she has given up her own desires and needs for us four kids, up till now. That would be over fifty years of care taking us. I'm sure a counselor would have something to say about a mother who helps her kids out when they are adults and should be able to take care of themselves. But you see, all us kids have special needs and really couldn't do it on our own. Some may say that is because Mom made us be dependent on her. That is probably partly true. Two of us, myself and my little brother are somewhat dependent upon her due to being bipolar. There are times when we need Mom when symptoms get bad and we can't take care of ourselves. My older brother and younger sister have grown and become relatively independent of Mom, finally, after so many years.
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