Taking care of my mother is a privileged I'll always be grateful for. I get no help from my three siblings, except a once in a week, one hour visit when my sister comes to see Mom. Other than that one hour once a week, I do everything myself. At least I try to.
Looking around the house while sitting with Mom I see the living room needs dusting, the whole house needs to be vacuumed, there are dishes in the dishwasher that need putting away so all the ones in the sink can be rinsed off and loaded. I can't see the laundry that needs to be done or the bathrooms that always need cleaning, but I know they are there.
I used to try and keep the house spotless and started getting it organized. We have a lot of stuff in this house, my mother's things have been collected for fifty years. Add to that my stuff, my daughter's stuff, my son's and boyfriend's stuff and you've got a packed, cluttered, unorganized home. I have a storage that is full of more STUFF. I pay almost one hundred fifty dollars a month to store things I don't even know I have and will probably never use. (I got this ability to rat pack from watching my mother do it for fifty years.)
In the midst of organizing with my non-organizational skills, I figured out that if I left everything where it was, whether it was causing clutter or not, we would be able to find what we were looking for. Organizing this house only caused the entire family great chaos, confusion, and frustration because we can't find anything that we are looking for, even if that thing is in the place that makes most sense!
I decided to let it all go, to let the dust settle anywhere it wants, to let the floors have some spots on them, to let the dust bunnies sleep in their hiding places under the furniture. Sitting with Mom is much more important than keeping the house spotless and organizing it simply wrong in this house.
Looking at my Mom, even though she's asleep sitting up in her chair, she has a smile on her face, I think because she knows I'm here for her. That makes all of it worthwhile. She just needs me to sit with her and make her feel safe and comfortable.
1 comment:
I would want the same for my family member, especially my mother. I used to keep a spotless house when my kids were small but all that did was take precious time away from me to enjoy them. I'm glad I decided to "let the dust settle" and spend more time with my kids.
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